Look, I don’t buy a thing unless David Lynch Tells me to.

Jonathan Crow over at Open Culture rounded up these old Calvin Klein ads done by mercurial director David Lynch.  Apparently Calvin Klein took a break from slathering jailbait all over billboards wearing the underwear his even younger Chinese workers made to watch a few movies.  One wonders at what point during Blue Velvet Klein said: “Bring me this director! I need him to sell my stink juice!” That’s what I imagine he talks like; I haven’t met the man.

Each commercial makes use of a literary giant: Hemingway,Fitzgerald, DH Lawrence seems particularly apt for the erotically charged campaign.

I know what you’re thinking. Sure, these commercial may have a definable aesthetic, perfectly fitted score, and wrenching snippets from  writers who, by defining obsession, became obsessions themselves. But it’s no Axe body spray commercial. I mean, we have no reason to suspect that using this product will make dozens of skanks throw themselves at you.  Start thinking about tuning forks struck on a star (Fitzgerald) or wanting to possess by touch (Lawrence) and you’ll probably only end up with one person.

For a longer, more contemporary promotional piece. Check out this short film Lynch did for Dior starring Marion Cotillard. Once again, sound is as important as any character.

But all that stuff is too girly. Lynch does ads for other things too.  See if you can guy what major corporation shelled out the money to make this ad.